The Hedgehog and the Minister

This poem began as a joke/challenge between two friends to write a poem about two disparate characters. This is the result.

The Hedgehog and the Minister
Christopher Bogart

Said the hedgehog to the minister,
One cool October day,
“I detect a hint of sinister
In the way you pitch and sway.”

Said the vicar to the hedgehog,
With a slur upon his tongue,
“T’was just a bit of altar wine
To keep me fit and young.”

Said the hedgehog to the vicar,
With a scowl upon his brow,
“Well that explains well where you’ve been,
But where do you go now?”

Said the vicar to the hedgehog,
“To the pub for Vicars and Tarts.
Why don’t you come along with me?
We could use your quills for darts.”

Said the hedgehog to the vicar,
“Care you not about your flock?
What kind of shepherd leaves his sheep
With the pasture gate unlocked?”

Said the vicar to the hedgehog,
Sounding holier than thou,
“They are waiting for me at the pub.
I go to meet them now.”

Said the hedgehog to the minister,
“Then, before the church bell’s knell,
You’ll be following your precious flock
Right to the gates of hell.”

Said the vicar to the hedgehog,
As he passed him on his right,
“I hope to hell you’re right, my friend,
For I’ll be there by tonight.”