Damned for all time?

I always thought Judas got a bum rap. Most believe that he was a money hungry traitor, sold Jesus to his enemies for thirty pieces of silver, then hung himself in despair and was damned for all time.

However, if you have read the posts on my blog for the last few months, you must know by now that I find pat explanations just too easy, and probably not true. In the three part poem I posted in January called “Triptych of the Lamb,” I identify society’s cast-offs with the traditional role of Jesus as sacrificial lamb. I did that because, to me, the message of personal redemption has little or no meaning unless it applies to even “the least of my brethren.” And that, particularly in a society that claims to be “godly,” their rejection is, to me, the ultimate sin against the man that taught us to love our enemies, and to take care of even those whose need is greatest.

Judas was one of the twelve apostles chosen by Jesus. He had been with Jesus throughout his ministry; and, when all of the others ran in the opposite direction when he was finally arrested, he did not run, he acted. However, the crux (no pun intended) of this debate is what that act consisted of, and motivated it. If his motives were monetary, then why throw the money at the feet of the high priests when he found out what was going to happen to Jesus? When Jesus told him, at the Last Supper, to do what he had to do quickly, it seemed that Jesus knew and approved of his actions. Finally, if Jesus came to save all of mankind, how was Judas left out within hours of that sacrificial death?

The story is told by the evangelists and is what it is. Matthew, in Chapter 27, has only these words about the event. Then Judas, who betrayed him, seeing that he was condemned, repenting himself, brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and ancients, saying: I have sinned in betraying innocent blood. But they said: What is that to us? Look thou to it. And casting down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed: and went and hanged himself with an halter. (Matthew, 27, 3-5) The other three evangelists say nothing of the event.

I am certainly not about to enter into a debate on the veracity of the scripture. However, I will be more than happy to weigh in on the debate on Judas’ motives. His actions during and after the crucifixion make more sense if we believe that Judas did what he thought Jesus wanted. If you believe that he was the son of God, as Judas did, then he must know what he’s doing. It became less understandable to Judas when Jesus actually allowed the Romans to execute him. Weighed down by the guilt of his “participation” in Jesus’ death and unable to understand what had happened, I believe that he forgot the message of forgiveness that Jesus had preached, or felt that he was beyond that forgiveness. Had he thought about that message before he acted, he might have been able to forgive himself for his participation in Jesus’ death. I also believe that it is a testament to Judas’ belief in the “deity” of Jesus, that the enormity of his execution, and his “participation’ in it must have hit him like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately, he could not bring himself to ask God’s forgiveness for killing his son, nor could he forgive himself, and his self-execution was the deserved punishment for his hand in the death of the Son of God.

As a child, I disturbed my father by crying in the theatre when the beast died in the movie, “The Beast of 20,000 Fathoms.” To me, the beast was an animal acting on instinct and didn’t mean to harm anyone. He was just confused by unfamiliar surroundings. I guess I just think too much. However, my defense of Judas is not, I believe, the result of over thinking, but of an attempt at understanding and compassion. How he must have felt for an action that he originally thought was the right one, but that betrayed the man he had loved and followed for three years, I can only guess at. If Judas truly believed that Jesus was who he claimed to be, he must surely have believed he was beyond forgiveness, beyond redemption, and that his role in Jesus’ death would make him a marked man for all time. And it did.

In yesterday’s post, I said that I was not religious in the conventional or organized sense. But I do believe that I am spiritual in my own way. For me, Judas is entitled to a little understanding, and forgiveness for what must have appeared to him as he put the rope around his neck, as the ultimate unforgivable betrayal. I am not sure how I could conceive living with that either.


Sonnet 17
Christopher Bogart

Why weren’t you what I wanted you to be –
A savior in the semblance of a king?
I wouldn’t have resorted to the tree
Had I’d but known ‘twas peace you meant to bring.
I didn’t understand your passive way
When action and defiance seemed be
The price that all of us would have to pay -
I didn’t know you came to rescue me.
Why couldn’t I pick the role I had to play?
Why had it been ordained long years ago
That it would be God’s son I must betray?
And if I’d known, would I have made it so?
If only I’d been told all this before
A length of knotted rope slammed shut the door.